MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING
Note: This Carrd also contains a slide presentation and cheat sheet. You can look at those if you feel overwhelmed by having to read longer texts or don’t have much time. I do encourage you to read this whole text if you can.
Hi! My name is Julia and I've been daydreaming maladaptively for more than 8 years. I’m not a psychologist, but I’ve done my research on Maladaptive Daydreaming and have many years of experience with the condition.
This information is based on resources, research and experiences I’ve found on official sites and in online communities. I want you to see this document not as your only source of information but more as a kick-off point to explore your own experience and find out more about the condition, because it is truly fascinating. I will update it regularly.
THE ORIGINS
The research of MD originates with Eli Somer, a professor of Psychology at the University of Haifa. His paper Maladaptive Daydreaming: A Qualitative Enquiry is his earliest work and a major study on the condition (at least it’s the earliest I could find), and you can find it in this folder.
I also linked some more of his academic papers/articles (just in case you want to read up on the condition) and his daydreaming scale, which is a test that can help you to apply the symptoms to your own individual experience. I really encourage you to take this test once you have learned more about the condition.
Eli Somner also frequently uploads to Academia, if you’re interested in the on-going research: https://haifa.academia.edu/EliSomer.
SYMPTOMS
Mr. Somer usually refers to MD as extensive fantasy activity that replaces human interaction and/or interferes with academic, interpersonal, or vocational functioning.
Maladaptive daydreaming means excessive daydreaming: a person becomes absorbed in daydream events, scenes, characters, or worlds, and it happens for large amounts of time. A lot of people who daydream maladaptively have ADHD, depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD, and have experienced stress, abuse, isolation and/or trauma in the past.
You’ll notice that this definition doesn’t consider what a person is daydreaming about specifically, because it’s not the most relevant bit. However, I will point out that a lot of daydreams are stories/situations that can be original, taken from reality and slightly changed, or from entertainment media. The stories exist inside vivid daydream worlds with their own developed characters. A daydreamer can of course dream several stories at the same time and may have a completely different set of characters in each story, or have separate timelines in the same world.
A lot of people use daydreaming as a form of escapism to avoid real-life situations and find joy/emotional satisfaction that you just don’t get from real life. If this happens repeatedly and becomes more and more intense, it can get out of control and the daydreaming might lead to the person having difficulty to stop daydreaming or can’t stop at all. The person might literally get lost in their daydreams, and not in the good way. This necessarily leads to neglecting your everyday life and responsibilities: work, hobbies, social life and daily tasks might become difficult or impossible to keep up with because the person is so focussed on the daydream/inner world and -relationships.
A maladaptive daydreamer usually wants to be part of their idealized world (although some people have more violent daydreams, not sure if they’d actually want to be part of that world) and be like characters in the story. Despite that, many people actually feel embarrassed of their condition because others might not take their problems seriously. An important part of daydreaming is that, while the daydreams are usually pleasant and comforting, the person might feel some form of distress because they are out of control and have problems focussing on reality.
Basically: if a person’s daydreaming leads to them having real problems in everyday life and feel distress, they might have Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (MD). These are general symptoms of the disorder, you don’t have to experience every single one of the issues I talked about to have the condition (except the major interference with real life, that’s always part of it).
When asked about their most common triggers, many MDers replied that their daydreaming usually kicks in when they are alone or isolated. They feel comforted & also feel safest when they are on their own. Entertainment media like TV, movies, books, and music are central for the majority of MDers because these relate directly to characters or story elements of their daydreams. Some MDers also said that their daydreaming is stress-induced or starts in highly emotional situations and is used as a way to deal with these issues.
MALADAPTIVE VS. IMMERSIVE DAYDREAMING
As you might have noticed, a lot of these symptoms are just normal signs of daydreaming. Everybody daydreams sometimes, imagining themselves/others in situations, inserting themselves in their favourite TV show/book like fanfiction, coming up with their own stories etc.
Immersive Daydreaming takes this a little bit further. People who daydream immersively have an intense, vivid imagination and daydream more than the average person, for example, they might make up their own dream worlds that they dive into when their on long car rides (classic example), and they usually daydream for longer amounts of time than people who only daydream every now and again. Immersive Daydreamers can control when and how much they daydream and usually get joy from it, unless their daydreams are upsetting obviously.
Now Maladaptive Daydreaming takes daydreaming to a whole new level. What makes the activity maladaptive is the fact that it actively keeps you from living a “normal” life, it’s compulsive. People spend hours on end daydreaming, sometimes entire days, and as a result are often forced to neglect their social life, work and/or everyday tasks like sleeping, showering, eating, because they simply can’t stop daydreaming. It can genuinely get really bad at times.
Not every day with MD is a bad day, and a lot of people can manage it to some degree (e.g. I still eat regularly), but it’s definitely the one thing that we all have in common. Because of these negative consequences, MADDers are often frustrated and wish for their daydreaming to go away completely and to just “live a normal life”.
I don’t mean to invalidate people with Immersive Daydreaming but I do feel like MD is a lot more serious. We might feel comfort when we’re daydreaming, but it's still not something we think of as a "fun" hobby.
LIVING WITH MD
Note: Many of the things mentioned here are optional, meaning you may still have the condition even if a lot of this doesn’t apply to you. This section looks into actual experiences, and everybody’s different. x
Some things that happen to many MADDers is that they act out their daydreams and talk out loud and, if the situation allows it, they walk around while daydreaming (we use the term pacing). One very (and I mean VERY) common symptom of MD is listening to music while daydreaming.
For most of us, some repetitive motion/action is involved whenever we are in our “daydreaming state”: the pacing itself might be moving back and forth, rocking back and forth when sitting down, repeating sentences until they sound perfect, repeating certain daydream scenarios or constantly listening to the same music while daydreaming.
There are some more aspects that haven’t been mentioned yet and that are not in the “official” description/classification:
Daydreamers often become emotionally attached to other characters in their daydreams and prefer “being with them” over interactions with people in their real life (can make them feel guilty).
People can experience withdrawal-like effects if they can’t daydream for extended periods of time, such as shaking, agitation or mood swings.
Because daydreams are compulsive, they can sometimes come out of nowhere and completely distract you from what you’re doing. Annoying when you’re studying or doing work that requires lots of concentration. This is where the “neglecting work” aspect from before comes in.
Daydreaming might actually be physically exhausting if you move around a lot.
Often daydreamers feel uncomfortable with their own identity or body because they can be different than their para-mes.
Dissociation and spacing out happens fairly frequently.
Daydreamers are often scared of “getting caught”, related to the shame and embarrassment mentioned before.
Like I said, not all of these things happen to every daydreamer (that would probably be impossible) and each person has an individual experience with the condition, just like everybody has their own unique daydreams.
WHAT MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING IS NOT
Maladaptive daydreaming is often diagnosed as Schizophrenia, which is a type of psychosis. This is because people with schizophrenia basically live with delusions and in their own world. However, Somer argues that maladaptive daydreaming is not a psychosis because we understand that our daydreams aren’t real and can clearly differentiate between our real-life and our daydream worlds.
Another condition which sounds very similar to MD is Fantasy Prone Personality (FPP). People with FPP, just like people with MD, lead a rich fantasy life but experience real hallucinations (not just daydreaming) and vivid sensory perceptions, which leads to the blurring of the line between reality and fantasy. A lot of people who claim to have had paranormal or supernatural experiences may actually be FPP people. Some aspects may be part of an MDer’s experience and they share a few symptoms, but they are still different from each other.
Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder, is often brought up as well, as people suffering from DID live have at least two separate personalities and a lot of MDers daydream about themselves in other worlds. DID, however, the personalities aren’t imagined; DID patients don’t “make up” their different personalities. Very simplified, try & imagine it as several people sharing one body. It’s a personality disorder which you can’t distract or heal yourself from without professional help.
Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder is a disorder where people often get the feeling of being detached from their body and/or surroundings. They might feel like they aren’t real or see themselves from outside their body. When derealization hits, they might feel like they are living in a dream state or have problems relating to their immediate surroundings like a non-DDD person would. Again, the idea of not being real or living in another state might sound similar to what lots of MDers experience, but like DID, it is a personality disorder that doesn’t have anything to do with actively making up stories/characters etc. but manifests itself in people’s actual perception of real life.
If you think that you might be dealing with one of these issues (rather than maladaptive daydreaming), definitely find more information, describe your experience and concerns to a doctor and then work together to find out what’s really going on.
DIAGNOSIS
Disclaimer: If you already regularly see a therapist or mental health professional, do tell them about you possibly having MD and go on from there!
Maladaptive Daydreaming is a psychological condition that often involves behavioural issues. Because it isn’t officially recognized by the medical community (yet, fingers crossed!), most doctors don’t diagnose a maladaptive daydreamer with the condition, so a lot of us have to rely on self-diagnosis. I will say that I generally don’t encourage people to diagnose, and you should be incredibly careful when considering diagnosing yourself. MD comes with very specific behaviours and sets of characteristics that differentiate it from other mental conditions, but you should still make sure it’s not Immersive Daydreaming or a Personality Disorder.
At this point I will again point out that MD isn’t quirky or fun, it is a very serious problem that people actually suffer from. Please be respectful and keep this in mind. I also want to remind you that I’m not a psychologist and these are suggestions based on most MDers’ experiences.
Before diagnosing yourself with anything, always make sure to inform yourself as much as you can. Look for legitimate sources like printed works, the DSM-5 and other diagnostic tools, online articles and academic papers (if you can!). I will summarize the MD papers in normal English & upload them soon, don’t you worry
With MD, it would probably be best to first reflect on your own behaviour after reading this document. You can go through this document thoroughly again, then have a look at the paper summaries (coming soon), try the official daydreaming scale & see if the majority of what you’re reading applies to you. If you are still unsure, you can always rely on people in the community to help you find out if you’re actually dealing with Maladaptive Daydreaming or if what you’re experiencing might be something else.
WHAT CAN I DO?
Unfortunately, here’s no official treatment for maladaptive daydreaming. A study by Schupak and Rosenthal (in folder) suggests that fluvoxamine, an OCD-related drug, was effective in helping one (1) maladaptive daydreamer control her daydreams.
It’s hard to get out of MD without medication or expensive therapy, especially as MD includes going to a place that’s nicer than your everyday life. But it is possible to limit your daydreaming (if you want to, that is).
One thing that has helped many is keeping yourself moderately busy. By that I mean doing things that aren’t too difficult (which might lead to you putting them off) and not too easy (which might allow you to daydream while doing it). Activities may include drawing, writing in a diary, reading easier literature or looking through magazines, doing exercise, playing a musical instrument, cooking, and playing video games. It can also help to be in social contact with people you already know well, like family or close friends, whether you are actually meeting up or just calling each other.
If music is a major trigger for you, one obvious way to daydream less is to listen to music less. I know it’s incredibly difficult but it would only make sense to avoid your a trigger to at least some degree. You can try listening to music that doesn’t trigger a specific daydream, or new music. It’s also worth trying out listening to podcasts or youtube videos to keep your mind focussed on something else.
People have said that meditation & exercises to practice focus and mindfulness have helped them staying in touch with the real world as well.
It will most probably take some time for you to find out what works best for you, so please don’t give up!
ONLINE COMMUNITIES
There are online communities on Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and Reddit where you can share your own experience and find out more about MD and what you’re experiencing. Some suggestions:
Tumblr: search for Maladaptive Daydreaming or MADD. User madd-information also has lots of great information & people talking about their own experience.
Facebook: have a look at/groups/565266586840308/ and/daydreamersunited
Twitter: search for Maladaptive Daydreaming. Be careful though, the Top and Latest tabs have a lot of uninformed people who misdiagnosed themselves or are not sure about their condition.
The maladaptive daydreaming Subreddit /r/maladaptivedaydreaming
Some terms that are used by maladaptive daydreamers on the internet:
para-me: If you dream in first-person, your parame is the character you “act” as and from whose perspective you experience the story. This can be an idealized version of yourself, an original character or an existing character from a book, movie etc.
para-cosm:Your paracosm is the universe/world your daydreams take place in. This can a completely original place you have constructed yourself, our real world or a movie/book universe (like the Marvel Universe)
para(s): This is a general word used for characters in your para-cosm. It’s usually applied to characters who are not “your” character, though I have also heard a few people use it as another word for para-me.
SUMMARY
Maladaptive daydreaming was first researched by Eli Somer. It’s characterized by compulsive daydreaming & interferes with people’s lives to the point of neglect. There are some experiences that the majority of people with the condition deal with, like emotional attachment to daydreams, repetitive action/motion, and spacing out for longer periods of time.
I know this sounds a bit like an academic essay but I did write this all myself and I hope this helped you! If you have any questions just dm me. You can find examples of some MDers’ experiences and fun memes on this Carrd and on tumblr.com/search/maladaptive+daydreaming. The tumblr madd-information also features tons of info and people sharing their thoughts & experiences.
~ Julia xxxx
CHEAT SHEET
THE ORIGINS
Eli Somer (Maladaptive Daydreaming: A Qualitative Enquiry, 2002)
Daydreaming Scale
SYMPTOMS
Somer: extensive fantasy activity that replaces human interaction and/or interferes with academic, interpersonal, or vocational functioning
daydreaming to the point where it has a negative impact on a person’s life: neglect of daily tasks (showering, eating etc.), work, social relationships
can feel comforting
idealized & detailed characters, worlds, stories
feeling distress
common triggers: stress, anxiety, boredom, isolation, entertainment media
MALADAPTIVE VS. IMMERSIVE DAYDREAMING
Immersive Daydreaming: vivid imagination, daydream more than the average person; control, enjoyment, can choose (not) to do
Maladaptive Daydreaming: compulsive, can go on for hours on end, little choice, distress, negative impact
LIVING WITH MD
pacing
listening to music
acting out daydreams (like gestures, talking out loud)
repetition (repeating sentences, daydream sequences, music)
idealized version of self
emotional attachment to characters
withdrawal effects
sometimes comes out of nowhere
can be physically and mentally exhausting
dissociation, spacing out
stress from procrastination
paranoia, scared of getting caught
MD VS. OTHER CONDITIONS
| CONDITION | CHARACTERISTICS | VS. MD |
|---|---|---|
| Schizophrenia | delusions, real-life hallucinations, strange physical responses | MDers can clearly tell the difference between “own” world and real world |
| Fantasy Prone Personality | hallucinations, vivid sensory perceptions, blurring of lines between reality and fantasy | MD usually not related to physical perceptions, can tell the difference and get out, not a personality disorder |
| Dissociative Identity Disorder | have at least 2 real-life personalities, causes distress, memory gaps | daydreaming characters are pure imagination and can be changed; parames are not the same as alters |
| Depersonalisation/Derealization Disorder | detachment from own body or surroundings, reality blurred or like a dreamstate, doesn’t seem real | MDers actively make up stories or characters, it’s not directly related to perceptions of the real world |
DIAGNOSIS
MD currently not diagnosed by medical professionals, people resort to self-diagnosis
if you already have a therapist, tell them about MD!
inform yourself, try out the daydreaming scale, talk to other MDers on Tumblr, Twitter and/or Facebook
SOLUTIONS
no extensive studies on MD and medication
limit daydreaming: keep yourself moderately busy, find & avoid triggers
meditation
MORE INFORMATION
read credible online sources (official articles, academic papers if you can)
talk to other MDers and find out about their experiences